Winter reflections for wellness
As the weather grows colder, naturally our bodies begin to crave stillness and restoration to rejuvenate us for the spring. In preparation for the stillness and rejuvenation, it’s natural to reflect on the things we value and appreciate in life and express gratitude. It’s similarly natural — though sometimes bittersweet — to likewise reflect on the things we have either lost or the things we are ready to let go of. In order to make room for the new, we have to relinquish the things which no longer serve us — be they old mental patterns, habits, activities, and sometimes even relationships.
What is challenging about this process is that it can be hard to accept that a pattern that has benefitted us, even protected and nourished us, is no longer serving that function. Sometimes we choose to lean in to the habit and convince ourselves that it does still serve us. Other times, we craft a new narrative that the old pattern is bad and has always been bad in order to allow us to more easily let go.
The problem is that when we construct a binary of good/bad, we miss the opportunity to truly appreciate and feel gratitude for all that this former habit, activity, or relationship has done for us. The truth is that almost all patterns and habits have both strengths and weaknesses — they are simultaneously beneficial and limiting. The fact that a given pattern no longer serves us in the present does not negate the benefits that these mental patterns, habits, practices, and people have given us in the past. Likewise, the past benefits do not negate the fact that it no longer serves us.
The truth is that all habits and patterns — even trauma responses! — serve a purpose in our life. Sometimes that purpose is to protect us from emotional overwhelm. Sometimes it is to protect us from facing the painful realities that will allow us growth (but are indeed painful). When we are healed enough that we are ready for a new pattern–be it a new way of thinking, a new practice, a new relationship–there there is an opportunity to appreciate fully what that old pattern has done for us, thank it for it’s support, and then lean into the new patterns and habits we hope to cultivate.
In this season–especially with the start of the New Year, I encourage us all to take time to truly value and appreciate all that our past patterns, habits, and relationships have given us. And to also take time — in stillness — to reflect on what new habits and patterns we’re looking forward to cultivating over the next year.